Studies consistently report that as many as one in four women experience a sexual assault in their lives. Boys need not silently observe this violence against their friends and family members.
Most violent men are not social outcasts. They have male friends and family members. Boys and men can be mobilized to challenge violent men and remind them that there is no place for their behavior.
Many violent men do not identify their behaviors as violent. They see their behaviors as normal for men. Likewise, many boys simply accept the conventions expected of them as unchangeable.
Violent men do not appear out of thin air. They were all once boys receiving training from peers. We can teach them to analyze that training and recognize that they have the potential to commit violence themselves.
Most violent men are not social outcasts. They have male friends and family members. Boys and men can be mobilized to challenge violent men and remind them that there is no place for their behavior.
My time working against sexual violence led me to accept that men are responsible for the vast majority of intimate violence and that there are few forums for men to discuss the ways that we are trained to accept this violence. Most of us don’t spend enough time interrogating our social training and asserting our own notions of self. When we do so, many of us realize that all benefit when men approach claims about violent masculinity not as defensive combatants as we are often expected, but as complete human beings with the courage to accept that there is work to be done. There are many people who stand against male-perpetrated violence beyond those who survive it and we come from all kinds of backgrounds.